Mahalo Nui Loa

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I just returned from one of the most amazing vacations I have ever taken. If nothing else, it was the best vacation I have ever taken in the sense that I actually relaxed, didn’t really let much bother me and just honored every emotion I felt at every moment without thought. It was the kind of vacation where you just sit and stare out at some vastness, in this case the Pacific Ocean, and you feel humbled. I felt so small. A blip of a blip. On the other hand, I felt tremendously significant and powerful. I had a sense of purpose and peace. It’s not so surprising what getting caught up in the hustle of Los Angeles can do to a person, and that one needs to leave for a while every so often. When you spend time in a place that moves at the speed of a snail, where you can’t help but literally stop and smell the flowers, the emotions can be overwhelming.

There were moments that I was sitting on the beach, just watching the ocean move. I sat for hours. Every once in a while I would just cry. I wasn’t the least bit sad. It was just the calm and beauty that I so rarely stop to notice. I try and make an effort, but I realized just how much more effort it was going to take when I got back to Los Angeles. Today I noticed my stride was much slower, my shoulders were relaxed and several people commented on the “healthy glow” I had about me. I felt healthy and radiant. I just want to hold on to that, and I’m not talking about using bronzing cream or tanning beds. Hell, I’m not even talking about being in the sun so much as just getting out to appreciate and enjoy life more than I have been doing. It’s difficult to do that when you only have a couple of days over the weekend to unwind, only to return to work a couple of days later, but changes need to be made. I need to be realistic. I have such a tendancy to romantisize and make decisions based on whims. I have very few regrets, if any, but I would like to be a little more thoughtful. I would like to think things all the way through without being heady and then make a decison and move forward. Yes, that’s what I will do…