A New Day

It was the wind that I heard blowing tonight that brought you back to me. It was your breathing, giving me the signal that you were safe, watching over me. Just as soon as the wind picked up, the rain began to fall, echoing in the gutter, splashing on the cement. Tonight I will chant to your rhythm and fall into a deep slumber, only to wake to a magnificent new day.

Goodbye Holly

September 10, 1997 – March 12, 2003

Holly had been suffering from stomach cancer, or so it had been thought, for the past several months. I made a promise to her (and myself) that I would not have surgery performed to determine with 100% certainty that she had cancer (or have her undergo chemotherapy). A simple biopsy procedure was performed and pathologists determined that there was a very good chance she had cancer. That was enough information for me. She also suffered from acute inflammatory bowel disease, which was treated with steroids. She started declining rapidly from the time of her diagnosis and then plateaued for a few months, much to the surprise of the vet and myself.

Over the course of her illness, I gave a lot of thought to death. It has been one of the toughest emotional experiences I have ever had to endure. I vowed that I would not wait until she was in pain. She had been eating less and losing even more weight over the last few weeks. Over those weeks I contemplated putting her to sleep and finally decided the time had come. This morning at approximately 10:30am Holly was euthanized out of love and respect. I am confident that whatever pain she was experiencing (if any) is now gone and her spirit has moved on. Needless to say, I will miss her terribly.

Holly was born in The-Middle-Of-Nowhere, Kansas on September 10, 1997. I picked her up on Halloween of that same year and brought her home to my house in Lawrence, Kansas where she would live until February 1998. It was then that she got into the car and accompanied me to Los Angeles, where she would live out the rest of her short life.

Peace be with you, wherever you are, Holly. I love you.

The Top Three Answers to ‘Who Could You Take In A Fight?’

In the Nov. 5th edition of The Onion, their A.V. Club feature was pretty damn good. They went around and asked a bunch of people, “Who could you take in a fight?” Of course David Sedaris was the best one of them all, but here are my other two favorites:

David Sedaris – Humorist
The Onion: Who could you take in a fight?
David Sedaris: I bet I could take…I could take that kid who was in The Sixth Sense. What was his name?
O: Haley Joel Osment.
DS: Yeah. [Laughs] I could just beat the shit out of him

Trey Parker and Matt Stone – Creators of South Park
The Onion: Who could you take in a fight?
Trey Parker: I could take a lot of people. I could take Prince. He’s a little bitch, although he is God. I could definitely take anyone in this room. We just met a guy who does ad sales for Comedy Central, and we just got in a big fight with him. He was like, “Hey buddy!” and we wouldn’t even stand up – like, “Yeah, fuck you.” We were such dicks to him. It was pretty sweet. He’s a big guy, but he’d go down like a bitch for sure.
O: Ad sales guys can fight. They have to get out among the people…
TP: They’re used to yelling at people.
Matt Stone: They can phone-fight.
TP: Yeah, they can phone-fight. They can puss-fight, but a brick fight, uh uh. They ain’t winning a brick fight.

Rick James – Singer, songwriter, showman and producer
The Onion: Who could you take in a fight?
Rick James: [Laughs] I think I’d whoop Jermaine Jackson’s ass. And I think even with a sock, I could knock Eddie Murphy out. And Michael Jackson.

Michael Music

I’ve been spending most of my time listening to music I don’t really care a whole lot for. That’s part of my job. It’s so refreshing to come home and just put on some Michael Miller. You probably have heard me rave about him already, but I can’t say enough good things about When We Come To. The good/bad thing is that you can’t just put it on and let it play in the background. It gets to you. You want to actually listen. The words just go right to your brain. He’s telling stories and the pretty music that plays along is just icing. Joel even had some nice things to say about him on the WiLD GiFT site. They played a show together earlier in the month. They have another one coming up on Saturday. I may have to trek down to Santa Ana to see the show.

Intelligent Speak: The Grammys

b: Did you see the Joe Strummer tribute?

m: Si – one of the ONLY musical stints that worked on the grammys, most were very weak. um, does bruce springsteen know what his face looks like while performing?

b: lol – It’s the face of a man in need of a laxative.

m: I was taken aback, kinda like a car wreck with that.

b: The performance was pretty awesome. I got a little choked up. They TOTALLY pulled it off. I could have done without the Soprano dude though. I always forget his name. He bugs the shit outta me. Dude is SO ugly. I don’t care how well he plays guitar.

m: agreed, like i said most musical numbers tanked and that one rose to the occasion – Soprano?

b: And his breath probably stinks. every time I see him share the mic with Bruce, or in that case Dave, that’s all I can think about.

m: Ah…Steve Van Zant…

b: Yes, him. Ugh.

m: Yeah, creepy.

b: And with the fucking babooshka…

m: I thought of his breath when he was singing with Bruce’s wife. I don’t imagine Elvis Costello has gorgeous breath either.

b: He really creeps me out for some reason, and who cares about Elvis’s breath? It’s Elvis Fucking Costello.

m: Steve Van Zant seems like the obnoxious guy in the house – like he’d be a nightmare at a party.


m: Did you see that gay gay gay nelly number? MORT!

b: No.

m: It stank. So bad.

b: I saw the first hour and the Joe Strummer thing and that’s it.

m: The whole thing was a trip. Dustin Hoffman shoulda been axed, and that Dixie Chicks singer had eye make-up like she was going to Florentine Gardens with her West Covina homegirls as she sang some sweet, down-played hippy song – there were many moments of sheer perversity. The grammys kinda get suckier and suckier – their shite is all over the place, categorically speaking.

b: It blows.

Sniffle Cough

I haven’t been this sick for a while. It has to have been at least a few years, if not more, and I can’t remember the last time I had a fever while I was sick. I woke up at 5-something AM on Sunday morning convinced that my spiritless body may well be found the following day. I was burning up and couldn’t move. All kinds of thoughts ran through my head. Who would find the body? Would they know to notify my brother, who would then get word to my parents, etc? I was comforted by the fact that I had it all figured out and Holly probably wouldn’t be alone for very long (48 hours, max).

Of course I’m being totally over-dramatic about having the flu. I’m not good at being sick, not that anyone I know particularly enjoys it. At least it’s a head flu and not the stomach flu. There is nothing quite as unpleasant as the stomach flu. I just got word from my mom that my sister had the stomach flu and was vomiting and having diarrhea at the same time. I had only heard of this happening to other peopleuntil it actually happened to me in an airplane bathroom, during take-off. It didn’t help at all that I was seated next to a woman that had just undergone chemo and was vomiting throughout the flight as well.

A sweet girl came over yesterday and brought me some bread and chicken noodle soup. She also brought TheraFlu.

“I brought you cherry-flavored because…well, you know how much I like cherry-flavored stuff.”

TheraFlu has always kind of frightened me a little. The idea of drinking a hot beverage that tasted like cherry medicine was not exactly motivation to put the kettle on. At the end of the evening, I did end up drinking a cup while I watched Alias. I slept so soundly and woke up actually feeling a bit better.

The only good thing about being sick is I haven’t done much of anything, especially considering all I do is something when I’m not sick. I’ve been, more or less, laying in bed (or on “the bench,” that is my sofa) for the last three days. I haven’t watched so much TV in who knows how long. I’ve caught up on the magazine reading and I’ll probably finish a book before the day has ended. Tomorrow I must…go…back…to…work.


It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to use my iBook so much. It’s very handy when you are laying on a bench (my sofa) or in bed. It’s much easier to type than write, though I’ve held that sentiment for quite some time.

It’s pissing out. It’s pissing so bad that I don’t want to even let Holly outside. And really, I’m not letting her out. I tell her to get out and give her a little shove if she doesn’t go. I don’t blame her for not wanting to go out in the rain. It’s like waking up in a tent, realizing it’s raining and having to go to the bathroom. I end up holding it, but she’ll just let it go on the floor. And granted, there are pads on the floor for just such ocassions, I’d rather just have her go outside so my apartment doesn’t smell like a gerbil cage, which a sweet girl said it did when she came over to deliver me the cherry-flavored TheraFlu.

The water is boiling, so it’s time to mix the cherry stuff and doze off. I have to get up for work tomorrow. I mustn’t forget to set the alarm.

A Monthly Mix Test

The latest montly mix has been posted (along with the downloadable files). If our bandwidth usage goes through the roof, we’re going to have to stop offering the files, as we don’t have enough money in the hosting account to meet demand. Maybe we’ll just post them for the first week or something. If it comes down to us having to remove the files, we’ll continue to post the list and you’ll just have to find the MP3s on your own. We like the idea about as much as you do, but we just can’t afford the hosting costs, even with some of the generous donations that people have been sending our way.